time waits for no man memories fade... limbs go weary... still i run the race the race to be with you... my Savior and my Lord
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Monday, October 03, 2005
9:57 AM
stuck in school right now...doing my internship and community service reports now... went ECP with vincent and jenny just now....was looking fwd to some nice r&r...in e end was pretty nice..but only cycled abt 1hr so not very satisfying leh... back in sch now...gg to watch soccer match at kopitiam opposite sch later...
ok...i know i'm just like reporting on what i'm doing...probably rusty from not blogging for so long lah..
for e past few weeks, been really pre-occupied with work...which is good and bad i guess...
good in that it keeps me from entertaining non-constructive thoughts...it's been quite fulfilling havin a full calendar also... earning enough from my tuitions to start saving for once...will probably have enough money for the backpacking trip later in the year bah... but quite sadly, i haven't really been able to get into stride with my homework..it's quite a slack term this time round..but still...gotta put in more work... lastly, it's probably good cos it keeps my mind off my emotions...was hoping that it'll just clear my mind abt certain things...but in e end...pretty non-conclusive..
as to how it's been bad, well...i feel like a robot nowadays..hardly any emotions...and if there is....it's not very nice emotions that i display towards others.. been pretty short-tempered and all...even though i'm not neglecting my ministries or even attendance in church, i just don't feel that usual closeness with God... perhaps it's down to lack of time bah....
anyways....been listening to alot of David Tao recently...think he really rocks..most other chinese music just suck... his song "bu tong pen you" really makes alot of sense... sigh...what is the thing that can spoil even the best of friendships between a gal and a guy in just one moment? Yup, when either party starts developing feelings for the other... things just become awkward and all and before you know it...one party starts ignoring the other...hurt inevitably sets in then...and they just be frenz anymore... e song speaks of how a guy likes this gal...and how they were gd frenz... but one day he develops feelings for her...and she knows it w/o him saying... from then on e friendship becomes uncomfortable and all...and deep inside, she wants to just tell him but is afraid of hurting his feelings... and in the end, when she tells him that she can't reciprocate his feelings, he is grateful for her honesty but, at the same time, he'd given too much of his own feelings to remain ordinary friends. as such, he has to avoid her in the hope that, one day, they might be friends again. this even though he still has feelings for her...
just been looking back and pondering such occurences...must totally agree that between telling the person straight that it can't work out or to subtlely hint that it is so, there really isn't a "good" solution..it's just a matter of short or longer pain..on one hand u cld be frank and hope the other person appreciates it then...but e other party wld probably not, while on the other, u cld be subtle abt it and still be nice to the other person, but the other party might feel like he/she's been led on...
isn't it sad that such things so often? read in a book that guys are able to share their innermost secrets better with gals than with fellow guys cos, with guys, they're not comfortable showing their weaknesses...kinda ego/competitive nature kinda thing... find it to be very true..i've got many gd female frenz that i can really relate too...perhaps it's cos females are better conversationalists anyhow...
but yup...back to the issue...what if yr very gd fren comes on to you? wat r u to do? not sure if i hv e 'correct' answer as of yet...but yeah...i guess emotions are the main culprit here...when it comes to choosing a life partner, i guess it's best to leave it in God's hands rather than to leave it to emotions...Love shdn't just be abt the feelings..after all, the end point of any r'ship shd be marriage, and since marriage was created by God to be the sacred union between a man and a woman, shdn't every part of the courtship be devoted to God? So, my stand wld be to......just be friends lah...to me...e only way u can truly know a person is when u r just frenz...totally dun believe in the "love at first sight" kinda rubbish....unless u r like Professor X or Jean Grey with all the psychic powers and all, else, the only 'love' you'd have is for the person's face or body, i.e. lust. Guess that when the moment is right, God will provide...as He always faithfully does...until then...singlehood is a gift to explore this big big world and do all the things u wanna do! AMEN!
who am i?
People call me:Simon
i was born: Sept 1981
so i am: 24yrs old
mental torture @: SMU
spam me/msn @: simontkf@hotmail.com
liKes
God
True friends
freedom
tranquility
Soccer!
aspirations
heaven
tentmaker
2 kids - elder son and younger daughter
early retirement
happiness
ArChiVes
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